Saturday, April 3, 2010

Playing Musical Chairs with My Future...And Winning...

(Thought I posted this a month ago. Oops. Sort of ironic, though.)

Holy shit, what a ride.

An awful, scary, intimidating, frustrating, time-consuming, insurmountable, non-motivating, painful ride.

And, totally in spite of myself, I did it.

This should have gone up a while ago, but I've never been one to party too hard about too many things. Quiet contentment will probably always be my style. But every once in a while, that doesn't quite do it all justice.

I always knew getting through graduate school apps was probably going to be one of the hardest things I'd ever do, but somehow I didn't let that stop me from just completely procrastinating my way through the whole damn thing. I didn't work fast because I wanted to stay sane. But I couldn't help but lose my mind while everything got done so slowly. Somehow, even though I let every deadline go down to the last minute, jumping to the next spot just like musical chairs (and literally, I suppose, beating other people to a last remaining seat) everything worked out.

The reasons to be happy are countless. I mean, let's face it - there's no justifiable reason a guy with NO previous interviewing experience, NO idea what he really wanted out of this intview, with NO planning for bad weather on this trip, should have ever survived it, let alone done well. Got the acceptance letter within a week. Mission accomplished.

Now, the excitement of that moment has started to fade back into mass-panic, as I begin a new level of challenges (appartment, job, roommate, commute, LOANS, classes, new social group, HOMEWORK, technically being closer to family - ugh- ). Sure, there's going to be some good to come out of it. I don't know how it'll go, but I can't quit now. The door is open, and I've got to keep running.

No comments:

Post a Comment