Yikes, this thing is getting downright depressing when I don't follow up the negative posts with positive (or at least cynical) ones. Definitely leaves a lot to cover between the end of October and now....guess I better get to it.
November was all about those damn applications - which are now done. It feels like that statement should have been followed by a dozen '!' and just as many drinks, but neither happened (sadly). It's more like what happens when you go to light that really big fireworks display that your parents shouldn't have let you buy, but you begged and pleaded and made a general scene till you got it. So now you finally got up the balls to light the damn thing, and the lit fuse went up into the canister and disappeared. Nothing happened. Is it going to explode? Is it a dud? Is it just going to erupt and kill everything in a 3 block radius as soon as you go over to check on it? (Such was my thinking as a child - go figure. I still have all my fingers, though, so that's probably worth something).
Anyway, that's what it feels like. Sort of 'nothing'. It's easier to RE-act to something when there's something to react to. I've recently found this is true with women as well as careers, but I digress. In any event, I'll know 3 months if the fuse lit something and made all my spent money and time worthwhile, or if it's just gonna sit there and smoke.
The other big part of November and December was bracing myself for the all-too familiar feeling of saying goodbye. Lots of friends graduating this winter. Lots of friends getting hitched, too. It's really interesting to say goodbye. It tells a lot about people. I told one person goodbye and they couldn't even say two words back to me - I will never understand or respect that; another person may honestly want to hear what I have to say a month from now and I wouldn't have predicted that at the start of the year. I learned a lot this week.
All in all, the semester went about as I expected. Easy classes were easy, that 4.0 semester still eludes me (but not getting a C was a plus, as well as a gift from God...I must have done ok with those last two tests). I think I did pretty good at making this semester memorable. I did stuff I was too afraid to do a year ago, I made some tough choices and stood by them, I haven't killed my roommate yet, and Nebraska has gone 9-3.
Claims of emotionless attitudes aside, there are a few people I really have grown to love over these 3 short years. People that matter. People that I have to keep talking to. In the end, that's what will define this year.